The police advised victims of domestic violence not to tell their partners they intend to the relationship because doing so could compromise their safety.
The issue of domestic violence is again dominating public discourse after 41-year-old police Constable Damien Blair was allegedly killed by his wife during a dispute at their home in Somerset, Manchester, on Monday, May 29, 2023.
According to reports, Constable Blair had expressed his intention to leave the home he shared with his wife because of domestic problems.
Deputy Superintendent of Police Jacqueline Dillon, head of the JCF Domestic Violence Intervention Centre, said abused victims could be seriously harmed by their partners when they intend to leave the relationship.
So, before you walk away from the relationship, she suggested you have several things in place before leaving, including important documents, money, and a safe location unknown to the other partners.
According to DSP Dillon, you should never say the following:
“Do not say you are going to leave tomorrow because that is an additional trigger if the person really is violent, and so it should be a secret. And this is what we have been saying to victims of domestic violence, that you have to have what we call a safety plan…. Your safety plan does not include you telling the perpetrator that I am leaving, because once you do that, you are putting yourself in harms’ way,” she explained.
Deputy Superintendent Jacqueline Dillon
Deputy Superintendent Dillon said victims of domestic violence can seek assistance from the police if they decide to leave the home they share with the abuser.
Also, she said the police can help victims develop their safety plan, whether they choose to leave or remain in the household with their abusers.
“If you intend to stay, you need to do this. You will develop some code that is only known between you and somebody you trust who has no affiliation with the abuser so that if something happens, you can activate the code. You can also share that code with that police officer who is au fait with your situation or who has been dealing with your situation, that if the officer gets that call and you use that code, they know that you are in danger and what it is that we ought to do.”
Deputy Superintendent Jacqueline Dillon
Additionally, DSP Dillon has urged men who are victims of domestic violence not to shy away from seeking help.
She noted that some men who are victims of domestic violence are too embarrassed to seek help due to societal and peer pressure.
“The Bureau of Gender Affairs also has a helpline for men who are victims of domestic violence, so if you feel that you really do not want to go to a police station because you are so embarrassed in doing so, then use the other avenues that are available for help,” she pointed out.
Deputy Superintendent Jacqueline Dillon